


A Day By The River

by GuesssWho



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Afterlife, All Just a Dream, Angst and Humor, Cute, Fluff and Humor, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-06
Updated: 2015-01-09
Packaged: 2018-03-06 10:57:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 1,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3131972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GuesssWho/pseuds/GuesssWho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sméagol goes home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Awakening

"Smeagol! They said you're back, are you back?"

Smeagol opened his eyes. Deagol was there, the dream was gone, and all was well.

"Deagol!" He wondered at the croak to his voice for a second, but dismissed it as his cousin approached. "We had the worst drea--"

"Er, Smeagol? That is you, isn't it, cousin? You look so strange . . ."

Smeagol felt confused for a moment, then looked down at himself. _Oh_. So it wasn't a dream, was it? "We _is_ dead, then. We was afraid of that."

But there was nothing Smeagol could do, so he set to teaching Deagol to hand-fish. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: fishing by hand is surprisingly hard, and people not as inured to pain as gollumses should not start with catfish. Catfish are spiny, and so are their ghosts.


	2. Catfishies

"No, love, you can't be flinching just because it's being slimy."

"I expected slimy, I didn't expect spikes!"

Smeagol stared blankly for a moment, them slapped his forehead with a long, skinny hand. "Oh right, Precious, catfishes! We was hurt the first time we caught one with our handses too."

"Only the first time? What's the trick, then?"

"No trickses here." He gave his cousin a very Gollum-ish smile. "We just stopped noticing."

"Oh Smeagol . . ." And Deagol wrapped the creature that was once his kinsman in the first hug he'd had in 550 years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter involves confessions.


	3. Apologia

"We misseded you, Deagol. And we is sorry."

"What for?" Deagol looked a bit confused. "I don't think you did anything that bad, did you? Aside from going away a while, but you're back now."

Smeagol frowned a bit. "Doeses Deagol not remember what happened to him, Precious?"

"That whole day is a bit blurry, actually. I asked around, and a Man with a broken sword said that the ring we found could do things to people's minds, so that fits."

"We know, Precious, we know. Far better than your Man doeses, Precious." Smeagol shuddered. "It made us kill you, _gollum_."

". . . ah."

Smeagol cringed away a bit, and Deagol sighed. "It's alright. I imagine you've paid for it a thousand times over by now, haven't you?"

And that, it seemed, was that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next bit will be about their grandmother, just give me a second to write it LOL


	4. Home For Lunch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit longer, for a story is told in it.

"Deagol, what _is_ that thing you've brought home with you? It looks like a shaved monkey." Grandmother glared at her grandson. "I'd have died of shock if I wasn't dead already."

Deagol winced and gave Smeagol a pat on the shoulder. "Grandmother, it's my cousin. He's home."

The old Stoor gaped for a moment, then stared hard at Gollum, then put one hand over her mouth and the other over her heart. "S-Smeagol? Oh my boy, what happened to you?"

"Wes was exiled!" snapped Gollum peevishly, but he relented at the tears in her eyes. "We went bad because of a curse, Grandmother. There was a Ring, a Ring that drived its ownerses mad. We found it, Deagol and, and I. And it made us fight t-to the death, yesss. Oh Deagol, we isss sorrieses!"

"I know, Smeagol. Tell your story."

"When we's cast out we had to live in the wildses, and the Ring changed usss to fit. It kept usss alive, kept us going. Alive too long; by the end I was older than _your_ grandmother would have been when we were cast out."

He held out a hand to his Grandmother, who took it gently, as though she were the strong one and he the weak. Indeed it surprised her when she wasn't, when she felt the wiry muscles that were strong, strong, strong.

"We went into the dark, into the caveses in the mountainsss, for the thing the Precious--the Ring--made us was burneded by the Yellow Face of the sun. Even the White Face of the moon hurt our eyes, and we huddled in our cave for years without number. We stayed until we forgot our own nameses, Preciousss, until the thought of cooking was anathema and we only remembered one tree. It was our favorite willow, and it was where Deagol was buried." Smeagol buried his face against his Grandmother's hands like a cat in search of pettings, and was silent.

And his Grandmother embraced him, and for a moment all was well.

"So," said Deagol, after a moment, "lunch?"


	5. Making Lunch

"No, no, Precious, don't _cook_ the fishies! Cooked fishies is weird and awful! We hates them."

Grandmother looked confused for a moment, then winced. "You didn't know how to build a fire when you were exiled, did you?"

"We can't remember. If we did we forgot when we was in the caveses. No branches in there, no grasss, nothing to burn but stones and our selveses." Smeagol whimpers. "Fire is bad."

"At least let us clean them, Cousin."

Gollum rolled his creepy eyes. "They is _fish_. They is being living in _water_. How can you be cleaning them _more_?"

"Remove the scales and the bones, I mean. And maybe cut them up, so you don't have to rip them apart?"

After a bit of arguing about which bits were edible, Smeagol got some raw fish cubes.

And that's how sushi was invented!


	6. More Necessities

"We need to get you new clothes," said Deagol.

"We's not liking nasty clotheses, Precious." Smeagol smiled. "Don't worry, cousin, we don't even feel the cold now. All those years in icy lakeses helped with that."

"Sure, but . . . but people wear clothes. That's part of what makes us people."

Smeagol glared. "Clotheses just get ripped, Precious. Ripped and waterlogged and smelly, we won't have it."

"Can I at least get you a new piece of cloth to wear? The one you arrived in looks ancient."

"Is not ancient, is only 150 yearses old!" Gollum smiled. "We gots it off an orc, Precious! It even has _pocketses_."

"Yes, er, very nice. But wouldn't you like to have a few spares?"

"Fine, fine. But is not our fault if spares wind up looking just like this one, Precious!"


	7. Shopping

"What is that creature, and why is it making such an awful racket?" asked the woman who ran the fruit cart.

_"We only wish, to catch a fish, so juicy sweet!"_

"Someone who hasn't had an apple in a very, very long time, and _obviously_ he's singing that because he's forgotten what 'sweet' means. Now let him at least have a few strawberries," said Deagol with a sigh.

"I've never seen such a creature in my life, though."

"Afterlife," Deagol corrected, more cheerfully. He'd never much liked Mrs. Brewer, and was of the opinion that she pretended nothing had changed too much. "And you have, because that's Smeagol. He just lived a bit too long, you know."

_"The rocks and stones, are like old bones, all bare of meat!"_ Smeagol was going to damned well keep singing that song as long as possible, apparently.

"So it is! Well I never."

"It never whatses, Precious? _The cold hard lands, they hurts our hands . . ."_

And that's how Deagol learned that he should do the shopping by himself in future.


	8. Back To Fishing

"Is Deagol wanting to go swimming, Precious? We likes swimmingses."

"I don't have my swimming things with me, you go ahead."

Smeagol grinned and leapt off the boat, causing barely a ripple. He stayed under for a few minutes, then popped up next to the little boat with a laugh. "Water is being nice, Precious. Deagol is being sure he won't come in?"

"Your idea of 'nice' is my idea of 'freezing,' and you know it," Deagol replied, shaking his head with a chuckle at Smeagol's antics.

"Deagol is just not used to it, Precious, we'll teach him. Not like anyone catcheses their death of cold _here_ , Precious, now do they? Nooo!"

"Maybe tomorrow. Hey!" For Smeagol had chosen that moment to toss a fish into his lap.

Smeagol ignored him, too busy catching more and coming up with a new fish-catching rhyme. " _Far away the ripple spedses, ripple ripple running redses!_ Which beses odd, for how can fishies die here? Maybe is reappearing in river once we eatses them."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With apologies to Kipling.


	9. Riddles In The Light

"We made up lotses and lotses of poemses and songses while we were away, Precious. Most of them bes sad ones, though, we liveded long sad life."

Deagol hugged him again. "I don't mind. A lot of the best songs are sad, don't you think?"

"Cousin speaks truely, yes he doeses!" Smeagol laughed. "Wes made up riddleses too, about fish and dark and sorrow. Only subjects we could remember, in the mountainses."

"I can't imagine there were many cherries down there. No hats, either, and no boats."

"Oh, we made boatses. Not good oneses, though, they sank a lot." Smeagol shook his head and laughed again, rather ruefully this time. "Making boatses out of bits of tree root and cloth stolen from orcs and goblinses never workeded well."

"I can't see how it could have!" Deagol grinned. "So, give me a riddle."

"Yes yes, one moment. _This thing all things devours; birds, beasts, treeses, flowers. Slayses king, ruins town, beatses high mountains down!_ "

"Um . . . a giant?"

"No, no, Precious! Is time! Is being lucky youses cousin, Deagol, when we played the game with orcses we ate them when they lossst!"

Deagol just stared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know that's not the whole riddle. It's my favorite lines, though.


	10. Bedtime

"There must be some way to make raw fish taste better, even if he can't stand cooking it," said Grandmother to Deagol.

"We could try adding fruit juice, or maybe wrap it in seaweed," Deagol replied. "I'm not sure what good salt and pepper would be on raw fish."

"We can try cooking it just a little bit, maybe. Get him used to the difference." Grandmother looked over at Smeagol. "Would you like it if we only cooked yours enough to make it warm?"

"We can try it, Precious. Warm is nice." Smeagol yawned. "But only a little. We is tired, would rather sleep than eat." And he proceeded to curl up on the kitchen floor.

"You don't have to sleep on the floor, Smeagol," said Grandmother sadly. "Here, come to bed."

"Bedses? What is bedses, Precious?"

"You don't remember _beds_ , Smeagol?" Somehow this shocked Deagol more than anything else so far.

"We forget many things. But if bedses be places to sleep we is wanting to be in them, yesss."

And so they took their kinsman to bed.

"Thank youses, Precious. Today has been best of dayses."

And he fell asleep.


	11. Heaven, Too, Is Repetition

"Smeagol! They said you're back, are you back?"

Smeagol opened his eyes. Deagol was there, the dream was gone, and all was well.

"Deagol!" He wondered at the croak to his voice for a second, but dismissed it as his cousin approached. "We had the worst drea--"

 The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A happy day, forever. It's a good way for the long story to end.
> 
> With apologies to sai Stephen King for the chapter title and Stephen Baxter for the second sentence of this end-note :D


End file.
